"The Story"

Monday afternoon after work, Ryan and I drove to the hospital to officially check in. I always wondered what would cause more anxiety and anticipation - going into labor on my own, or knowing ahead of time. For me, I am pretty sure it was knowing ahead of time.



All the way to the hospital I found myself trying to take deep breaths and remind myself that everything was going to be okay. Of course I wasn't actually worried that it wouldn't be, but it was just so impossible to comprehend that we were walking in just as Ryan and me, and we were coming out with a little baby!

We checked in at 4 pm and were assigned our room.


The first 12 or so hours were meant for overnight cervical ripening. For people like me - who were 41 weeks and still only dilated to a 1, they give medicine every 4 hours or so to help the cervix soften so that hopefully when the Pitocin starts, the body will actually respond.


I love the hospital ice chips, by the way. That is one of my favorite things about working here. But on the labor and delivery floor, they also have snow cone flavoring for your ice. Awesome!

I have never, ever intended to do this birth naturally. Although I admire women who do it, I think they are also kind of crazy. I have just never had that desire. I have also never had a desire to deliver anywhere other than a hospital where I know that I, and my baby will receive the best care possible. When talking to other people about this, I often say in passing that I could never give birth naturally/or outside of the hospital because it would kill me. Well, I think I can say that's less of a fly by statement now.


They began the Pitocin drip at 6:30 Tuesday morning (12.5 hrs since check in.) I had finally reached a 2 by this point. Ryan had gone home shortly after they started the medication to check on Dodger and let him outside. By 8:45, the contractions I was feeling went from painful, but survivable - oh my heck, I am going to die! I sent a frantic text to Ryan to hurry back because I wasn't sure how long I could make it. The nurse would have called the anesthesiologist without him, but since Ryan works with him, I knew he wanted to be there for it. Thankfully, right at 9 am, Ryan came through the door with the anesthesiologist behind him. Oh what a heavenly vision! He had the epidural placed within 10 minutes and instantly everything starting going numb. What blessed relief!

Honestly, the feeling all in all is kind of freaky. I loved not being able to feel the pain, but I hated not being in control of my legs. Thankfully, after the first little bolus wore off, I was still numb, but able to maneuver myself around in bed just fine.

I only used this button a couple of times for a little "extra help." But it was wonderful knowing it was there.

Once the epidural was placed, things started to fly. By 10:00, I was at a 4. From there I progressed about a cm an hr. It was awesome pace, but nerve racking too. Each time we were just that much closer!

Around 3 pm, once I was at an 8, the nurse brought in the delivery cart. That certainly makes things feel more real! The doctor stopped by to say hello and let me know how things were looking. He said unless I happened to deliver during a short window of time where he would be doing a procedure in the OR or a C-section, he would be the one delivering, and that the new doctor came on at 6 pm, but there was no way I was going to make it that long.

Huh. Spoke too soon on that one. Shortly after 3, everything came to a standstill. No progression. I developed a fever and a horrendous case of the shakes. Let me tell you, there are few things more miserable than the shakes. I became extremely nauseous and threw up - if you could call it that since I had been on an ice chip diet since the night before.

The hours wore on and still very little progress. I reached a 9 around 5 pm, but there all progression stopped. The new doctor came in around 7 pm to check on me. Still at a 9. He said that if in two hours there still had been no progress that we would need to discuss the option of a c-section. Honestly, neither Ryan and I were afraid of a c-section and did not worry about this being done, but there was certainly a sense of disbelief, and almost disappointment that we had made it this far only to have to do a c-section. And all the while my shakes continued to come and go. I felt so horrible and nauseous throughout this that all I could do was cry. I wasn't scared or worried. I just felt horrible. I asked Ryan for a blessing in between checkups. It brought such a wonderful and peaceful feeling. I am so grateful to be married to such a remarkable man who holds the Priesthood.

The next two hours went by quickly and shortly thereafter the doctor returned to check me again. Still a 9. There was just a small amount of cervix surrounding the head they could not get past. They tried having me push while they tried to physically force it, but it was to no avail. And at that point, they noticed something else - his head was hitting into my pelvic bone and would not fit through. Regardless of whether they could ever get my cervix to a 10 or not, you can't move bone out of the way. The doc told us we could take our time and talk about it, but there was nothing really to discuss. We both knew it needed to happen and after 15 hours of labor, I was ready for it. Ryan sent out a text to family letting them know and within seconds my room was bustling with preparation for surgery. It was so good to have Ryan there as the most amazing and supportive husband in the world, and also have his knowledge and education in the medical and surgical fields to help walk me through this.

The whole thing was amazingly fast. From the time they began cutting, to the time baby was out was only three minutes. Ryan assisted the staff in several things but stayed by my side and talked me through it step by step.


I asked him if they had started yet, which to my surprise he responded that they were nearly done.

He told me when they pulled the baby out, but I couldn't hear anything. No crying. No screaming. Nothing. I fought my urge not to panic. "Ryan, Ryan! Why isn't he crying? Why can't I hear him crying?! Is he okay?" Ryan very calmingly responded, "He's fine. He is just fine. He is breathing and he has great color."

"But why isn't he crying?!" I think every movie and every birth I could think of all pointing to that one thing - baby should cry. I did my best to trust Ryan, but it was difficult. Finally I heard a little grunt. No wail and no scream. Just a contented grunt. Ryan said when they pulled him out, all he did was blink, look around and take in his surroundings.

Pierscen Ryan was born at 09:59 pm after being in the hospital for 30 hours and active laboring for 15.

They took him into another room to clean him up and run some rests. Ryan was still at my side when they first took him back, but after he heard some screaming (he told me this later) he decided to go investigate. As he neared the second room the screaming had turned to shrieks of laughter. Our little guy had decided to show his appreciation for the nurses by helicopter peeing on all four of them. All four had to go change. Haha! That's my boy!

Even though they tried to rough him up a bit while he was back there, he still did not cry. Instead, he just kept arching his back to look through the window. Maybe in some motherly-child way he knew that's where I was.

All his scores came back great. He came in 7 lbs 14 oz. Almost an 8 pounder! That's pretty big for me!

In the mean time, the anesthesiologist asked if I was ready to be "put under" - in other words, if I was ready to sleep for a few hours. I told him no, I needed to see my baby first, and then I didn't care. Just let me see my boy.

Ryan arrived moments later with our sweet little angel. He pulled up the beanie so I could take a look at his hair. Lots of long blonde hair. But it wasn't until hours later that I was actually able to see just how much there was.


They finished sewing me back together, drugged me up, and sent me back to the room. I remember them asking me several questions that seemed very important, but I don't have a clue what they were. I did my best to give them a full answer, but I just remember thinking, "Does that even make sense?"

Ryan followed them down to the nursery where they continued the rest of their tests and clean up.

It wasn't until closer to 2 am the following morning that Ryan and Pierscen came back to the room and I was able to spend some real time with my new little family. It's okay though, because I wouldn't have remembered anything that happened before that time anyway.



And talk about hair! Without the beanie, and now that it had had a chance to dry out a bit - it was amazing! I had never seen that much hair on a blonde before! Neither had any of the staff. I don't know where it came from. Ryan and I both had hair, but nothing like that! He quickly became well know on the floor for his hair and his appetite. He pretty much came out rooting around. That's probably the real reason he was looking through the window. He was thinking, "Hey! My food source is over there!"

This picture just makes me laugh. "I tried to tell them I wasn't going to fit that way! I tried!"


Our wonderful family and friends began arriving later that day (at a more reasonable hour than 2 am when I guess technically they could have popped by.) From the time of delivery, the standard c-section hospital stay should be a minimum of 72 hours. So regardless of the fact that I had already been there 30 hours before then, the clock starts at birth. That put my discharge time at 10 pm on Friday, but they weren't going to make me go home then. In fact, a c-section is 72-96 hours. I was given the go ahead to leave when I wanted, so we aimed for Saturday morning. In the mean time, it was wonderful to have that extra time to recoup and enjoy time with my baby, husband, family and friends.

Because I had spiked a fever during labor, they started me on several different types of anti-biotics just in case. And unfortunately for the little guy, that meant Pierscen had to have them too. They tried to start an IV in his hands, and I know they were successful with one for a while, but they both blew so he had to have one in his head. It was so sad. But it is certainly better to be safe than sorry.

Saturday morning came and it was time to go. We didn't get a very good picture of his cute little penguin outfit, but that's okay.


He was absolutely furious about his car seat at first, but as soon as we started walking down to the car he fell right asleep.

Ryan and the tech helped us get in the car and off we went. It was kind of a surreal feeling to be coming home. But it was also very peaceful.

The one factor we were a little nervous about was Dodger. Ryan had spent some time trying to prep him by bringing home a blanket we had used in the hospital so he could get used to his scent, but we still didn't know how he was going to respond.

He was...


IN LOVE!!! Most of the pictures we look turned out blurry because Dodger was running around the carrier so fast trying to kiss him from every possible angle. It was hilarious. We had to keep pulling him off so he wouldn't overwhelm the little guy. So I think he will do just great. We just have to keep his enthusiasm level in check.

We spent a quiet evening together, cuddling and napping. The picture below kind of makes his hands look huge, but it was just the angle. He folded his little hands one over the other like that. It was so cute!


We also let him hang out in the bouncer for a little while and after a few minutes his little hand crept up and grabbed the edge. I love it.

We are all happy and healthy. I am incredibly grateful for modern medicine - because really, without it, I might not be alive. Pierscen for sure would not be. I am very thankful for wonderful family and friends. And I am so thankful for life! This little boy is everything to me. So little and so new, and yet I feel like I have known him forever. I told Ryan just last night I know it was hard for us to imagine how life would be with him, but now it's impossible to imagine life without him. I can't think of a better way to start the new year!