In Loving Memory

 A few weeks ago, we received word that Ryan's grandma on his dad's side had passed away. Her health had struggled for quite a while, but regardless of how poor she was feeling, she was always looking for ways to serve others. Near the middle of January her health took a sharp decline and she was taken to the local hospital, then life flighted to Utah Valley Regional where they felt she had a better chance. She spent about a week there, and though she definitely recovered from where she was, she had reached the end of her stay through insurance but wasn't well enough to be discharged home. They transferred her to a nursing and rehab center nearby. From there she was discharged home. Ryan's sister Jodi, her hubby and kids rolled through Casper to spend the evening with us for Superbowl Sunday. From there they were going to Utah where Jodi would stay with grandma and help take care of her. (Jodi is a CNA). Things were going well, but then dropped off horribly. We knew the time had come.

Grandma was such an amazing woman. She is known for her kind, loving nature, her desire to serve, and her amazing cooking skills. I learned from my very first visit to Holden before Ryan left on his mission that any trip to Holden meant amazing food and lots and lots of over eating. :) Every meal Grandma would say, "Are you sure you have had enough?" and try and heap up a whole extra plate of food for you. It was amazing. :) When I think of Grandma, I think of two things in particular: her incredible, always perfect rolls, and Mt. Dew. She had Dews piled up by the case, but it was because she suffered from headaches. This is something we have in common. When I can't kick a migraine, I will take a couple Excedrin and drink a Dew too. I learned during the funeral, however, that in addition to her amazing rolls and bread, she was known for her out of this world cinnamon rolls. I feel cheated. I never had one. In the next life, Grandma, in the next life. :)

The funeral was probably the most amazing service I can remember. All of the siblings except Donna gave a little talk. It was so beautiful! We laughed, we cried, we rejoiced. I was asked to do a special musical number, so a couple days before the funeral I went to a store here in Casper looking for something appropriate. They don't have an "LDS" music section here, but most of our hymns were taken from other churches anyway. I found a book that had a couple that I recognized and chose "Sweet Hour of Prayer." Man, that was nerve racking. There at the end I thought I was going to bounce my way off the bench I was shaking inside so hard, but it turned out really beautiful. I was praying my guts out and I think I definitely had help - especially since I only had two days to prepare.

(You gotta learn to drive young in the country.)

Grandma left behind an incredible legacy. She is such an inspiration and example. Grandma and Grandpa served for 9 years as temple workers in the Manti Temple and served a mission to Nauvoo. She pretty much always had a calling and gave everything her all. She will be sorely missed.

As an in-law, I would like to add that I had my own appreciation and love for grandma. Of course I didn't know her as well as the others - obviously - but from the moment I met her, even as young 17 year-old dating her then, pre-mission grandson, she welcomed me into the family as one of her own. She was always so sweet and so loving. She always asked about my family and took a genuine interest in them. To date, I only have one grandparent living, and that's my Grandma J at 94 (this summer.) I lost my Grandpa J when I was about 2.5, my Grandpa N around 12, and my Grandma N a few years ago. I felt just as close to Ryan's Grandma as I did to my own Grandmas. I love her dearly. I feel very lucky to have known her and had her as another Grandma.

Following the funeral and luncheon, we headed back to Grandpa's to do some sledding down "The" tubing hill. It is on their property, but it gets use from people all over town. Amazingly, after being part of this family for almost 10 years, this was my first time ever sledding down it.

Pierscen was totally exhausted. He had only had one 20 minute nap in my arms the whole day, so we didn't know how well he would handle it.

His first trip down was just with dad. Ryan said he got a smile out of him at the end of the hill.

Then he went with me and I am not such a great driver. We spun around backwards at the end and this freaked him out.

Then this happened:

Don't worry. Ryan had him very well protected and barely touched the snow. But it did scare him. :(

After that I took him inside where Ryan's mom watched him so I could go out for a couple more runs.

Our second to last run of the day was definitely the best. We were the only ones left on the hill, but Ryan's dad and several of the grand kids were on the other side of the field and at least saw the awesomeness... though not nearly as well as if they had been right there.

Right at the very end we spun and flipped, but the sled dumped us so quickly we both landed with our heads stuck in the snow like an ostrich with its head in the sand, our butts in the air. Neither of us could move for a bit because we were stuck so unceremoniously. By the time we were able to right ourselves, I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. It was fantastic.

All of Ryan's siblings expect Jen and family stayed the night and went to church with Grandpa the next day. It was really great to be there with him. We stayed until mid afternoon and then headed back to Orem for dinner with my family.

We stayed until Tuesday morning and then drove home. Although the purpose of the trip was sad and we are really going to miss Grandma, I think this is one of the best trips we have had out there. Just really good balance with family time and everything else. 

I am grateful to have the knowledge of the Gospel, to know that Grandma has moved on to a better place, and that she is happy, serving, and pain free. My only sadness remains with Grandpa as she was his everything, and I know he will be lonely. But it is a great comfort to know that we will all be together again and that this isn't the end, but really the prelude to an amazing eternity.