According To A 4-Year-Old

Yesterday I had a surprisingly frank baby discussion with my 4-year-old nephew, Preston. (The one that has been convinced for months now that I am growing a baby dinosaur.

He approached my belly cautiously and gave it a very soft pat. (This is great improvement over his typical over-zealous punch-to-the-gut welcome.)

"Your baby's growing!" he said.

"Yes, it is! He is getting bigger, huh?"

"It get bigger and bigger?"

"Yup. It will keep getting bigger and bigger."
"Then it pop?" He made a great whooshing motion with his hands and arms - like a dam breaking.

"Yes, then it will pop." Technically it's true - even if his visual was something like this:

"It make you dead?" he asked.

"No, it won't make me dead."

He seemed to consider how it was possible that I could survive something like my stomach popping. The next question was a perfectly logical next step.

"Then you swallow it again?" He mimicked popping something small, like a seed, into his mouth and swallowed. He mentioned something similar to this the day I announced I was pregnant. He was quite convinced the only way the baby could have shown up in my stomach in the first place was if I had swallowed it and allowed it to grow. It appears I am growing a watermelon after all.

"No," I answered, "I won't swallow it. The baby will grow and grow and when it's big enough it will come out and go, 'Whah! Whah!'"

At that he giggled hysterically like there couldn't possibly be anything more absurd and walked away.