Bake For 10 Months... Or Until Well Done

I am currently working on the "well done" part. Our little guy is now officially two days overdue, but don't worry. I am still in good spirits about it.

This last month has been a wild ride of expectations, hopes, and reality checks. I have always expected to go over my due date. I have always planned on an induction. That is largely because that's how my mom was and I take after her. I know, I know - everyone is different, but I figured it doesn't hurt to expect to go over my due date. If that's what I plan on, I won't be disappointed when it happens, and I will be pleasantly surprised if I go early or on time.

At 34 weeks, I was measuring 33. They said not to worry about it.


By 36 weeks I was measuring 35. Again, don't worry about it. It doesn't matter so much if they measure small as long as there is still growth. They said it was just more likely that I would have a 6-7 pound baby than an 8-9. I can deal with that.


At 37 weeks I was still measuring 35. No growth is not a good thing. So they sent me for an ultrasound to measure the fluid and a non-stress test to measure fetal heart beat and movement. Both came back squeaky clean. Plenty of fluid and a happy, thriving baby.


At 38 weeks I was still measuring 35 weeks. My sister-in-law had this same thing happen to her, and they induced on her due date because there was no sense in making her wait if baby wasn't going to grow any more. A small bud of hope started to blossom in my chest. I found myself hoping and praying that baby wouldn't grow - not in a dangerous way of course - but that he would just stay little and that maybe... with a little bit of luck... they might induce me on time. The doctor at my 38 week check up wasn't concerned because my test results looked good. So I held my breath for the next appointment.


39 weeks came along and baby suddenly measured 37 weeks. What the?!? Two weeks of growth in about 5 days?! (Granted I did feel like I was suddenly bigger, but I had hoped that it was all in my head.) I was naturally happy that baby was doing well and was still healthy - but I was a tad bit disappointed that he decided to go through such a big growth spurt right then because there went my chance of an on time induction. I still expressed my "concern" about it, even though in reality I really wasn't concerned at all. A happy, healthy baby is all that matters. They ordered another ultrasound to check on fluid levels again just to make sure. Again everything looked great. He was measuring exactly on time (not small) and we again confirmed that he is a boy. (Thank goodness!)


I had my 40 week appointment on Tuesday, baby's due date. The doctor didn't measure my belly - which I didn't think about later and was kind of bummed I forgot to ask. Granted, I was more concerned with other things and at this point, and it doesn't really matter what he was measuring. It was more a curiosity factor because I am pretty positive he went through another growth spurt. I have a feeling my 6 pound baby is closer to an 8 pound baby now. The main point of this appointment, for me, anyway, was to find out what the game plan was from here. The only argument I could come up with for not waiting an extra week or so was - "Hey, if I am not making progress now, and I have a family history saying I am not going to progress by next week, why bother waiting?" I knew what the answer would be, but it was worth a shot. Statistics show that most women will deliver on their own by 41 weeks. The risk of complication greatly increases at 42 weeks. So inductions are typically planned between the 41 and 42 week mark. I had made no progress previous to this visit, but I finally made it to a 1cm. Haha. Big progress!... NOT! (Again, I know plenty of people that weren't dilated at all either and then suddenly their water broke and they were in labor. I know it can happen. I just don't think it's going to happen for me.) But instead of feeling pouty as he told me I had to wait another week, I was at least happy to know there was going to be an end. Though it's physically impossible to be pregnant forever, sometimes it doesn't feel that way. And especially with this being my first and having no ability to comprehend what it will be like to have a baby, it's impossible to wrap my mind around what comes next.

So no baby yet. I have been amused at my own feelings regarding this. Because I have prepared myself for years that I would mostly likely never have a baby on my own on time, I think my emotions have been pretty smooth. That is... with the exception of this last Monday, the day before I was due. Something just snapped. I was angry and bitter and ready to be done. I pouted all day long just feeling frustrated that I was still pregnant. I hurt everywhere. Everyone kept making comments about how I was going to burst. Or how miserable I looked. Well, no duh! I found that my own reaction was surprising to me. I have been a pretty happy pregnant woman, and I knew all along that baby wasn't coming on time, so why be angry about it?

Thankfully those feelings were all gone by the next day. One would argue it seems more logical to be upset on the due date, or even after that baby hasn't arrived yet, but that wasn't the case. I cancelled all my piano lessons this week and for the next month and half. So I actually had a totally free day. It was amazing. I went to the gym, did some shopping, showered, went to the temple with Ryan to do sealings, (which was really awesome by the way - our sealer made a comment about how he has had lots of couples come to celebrate their anniversary doing sealings, but he had never had a couple come on their baby's due date. I am sure the were nervous about me delivering right there, but I was confident no such thing would happen. And it was amazing to be able to participate in sealing families together. Especially being so close to having our own baby, it made me that much more grateful for my own temple marriage and the blessings of eternity) and then went to my doctor's appointment where I was reassured everything would come to an end... eventually.

The next day at work, even though everyone was surprised to see me there and made repeated comments saying as much, I found that I was in a rather happy mood. Grateful in fact, for the extra week or so alloted me. Raising a baby is scary! He is so much easier to take care of when he is on the inside!

I am now somewhere between a peaceful calm and a heart racing panic. Though I am happy to know that they will indeed induce - and before New Years so my insurance doesn't start over - now I have a definite count down. There is no avoiding it. I can't wait to actually meet this little boy and hold him in my arms. I know it will be the most amazing thing in the world. But I would be lying if I said that thought isn't as equally intimidating as it is exciting.

I have been extremely blessed to enjoy a relatively easy pregnancy. Please don't send me hate mail if you endured an awful pregnancy. I love and admire all women that can plow through this - especially when they are super sick. I had very limited morning sickness and have been able to keep doing pretty much everything I did before, including my spinning/elliptical work outs, and full time work and piano lessons. Pregnancy has been good. Though I do look forward to having my body back and being able to rotate in my sleep without waking up in vast amounts of pain and feeling like a beach whale frantically looking for something to help roll me over - it has been good. I love feeling him squirm around inside. Sure, it's uncomfortable and kind of hurts at times, it is amazing to think of this little child inside rolling around, stretching, kicking, punching, sucking his thumb... it is so humbling. I really can't wait to meet him!

Yesterday was my last schedule shift in the ER. I am really looking forward to a whole weekend off with no lessons, no work, and even a few extra days than I normally would have since I would typically be working. And it will be wonderful to have that time off to spend with family for Christmas. (I hope and pray the baby doesn't decide to make his debut Christmas Eve/Day. Although I would love to go into labor on my own, I would really love it if it happened before or after Christmas. That's a lot to ask, I know. It's going to stink for the little guy no matter what having his birthday so close to Christmas, but it would be a little better if it wasn't actually ON the holiday itself.)

With the bit of extra time I have, I plan on doing some additional cleaning, laundry, and shopping. Or just sleeping. That sounds great too. Thankfully, I think we have pretty much everything ready - or as ready as one can be never having been through this. The nursery is set up, and I am dying to take a picture of it, but there are still a few boxes and stacks of things that we are trying to determine storage for. So that picture will come eventually. For right now, I think the biggest concern with have is how our other son is going to handle this...

Poor Dodger. He is such a good sport, but this has been hard on him. I am positive he will be great with the baby, but I think he will have some jealousy issues at first. After all, he has been the only child for a while now and all this moving around and change has left him a little anxious.


This was during the crib setting up stage. He kept walking underneath it, looking up through the springs, and whimpering. If I tried to help Ryan, he kept pawing at my arm to get my attention, so I ended up holding him for most of it. Once we got it all set up and the bedding in, he grew extremely flustered because the bumper pad is just at the wrong height - for him, that is. It was just at the level where he could no longer see into the crib when he was up on his tip toes.


So I scooped him up and put him inside so he could sniff around and see we weren't hiding anything in there... yet.

A few days later, Ryan heard some ruckus coming from the baby's room, so Ryan went to investigate. He found Dodger up on the changing table, head ducked down because he knew he shouldn't have been up there, but also pleading with Ryan for help to get down because he had managed to get himself stuck. I don't know how he knew it, but he knew we had a couple baby rattles up there that he is particularly fond of. That was his goal before he got stuck. Thus - another reason we need to figure out storage.

But to give the little guy credit, he has done really well. He is still very curious about all that stuff that is just the right size for him in the spare bedroom, but he responds very quickly if you tell him no. I don't worry about him in the long run. I think the first little big will be a rough transition, but it will be okay. He is a fantastic dog - even if he gets into trouble sometimes. What child isn't like that?