No Longer Shoeless

A few weeks ago I was talking to my sister Necia about all the different runs she had signed up for over the summer and she mentioned the Dirty Dash in Midway, Ut. My ears instantly perked up.

"Wait, you are doing the Dirty Dash?" I asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Why didn't you tell me?! I have always wanted to do that run!"

"Well I didn't know! My friend signed me up as part of a team months ago. But one of our girls did drop out a while ago. Maybe they can fit you in."

I waited for a week until the news finally came...

Maybe. They did have some openings, but they were all for the later slots. The instructions stated to come to packet pick up with the email saying they might be able to fit me in and they would see what they could do.

Two days before packet pickup, Necia called with good news. Another girl had dropped out - which basically gave me an automatic in. All I would need to do was go to packet pickup and sign a waver stating I was taking her place. Easy enough!

Well almost. Packet pickup was a joke. I have never seen a more haphazard attempt at organization. Thankfully the employees running the show acknowledged this with an announcement that they were just trying to be as ineffective as the government. Well kids - you succeeded! Haha.

Anyway, with my waiver signed, I was officially part of the Hippogriffs - the team name Necia's friend assigned us.

We didn't have any fancy costumes, but we did all wear the same color bandannas to hopefully make recognition a little easier at the finish line.

Ryan and Bill came along to take pictures, as well as Samantha and Paxton to cheer us on.

The goal was to stay together as a team as we ran, but it didn't really happen. The course began with a mud pit that brought any sprint to almost a crawl as our shoes sunk into the mud. Sprinklers rained down on us as mud splattered upwards from neighboring runners. There was a bit of a bottle neck at the beginning, but once things thinned out the real run began.

The first obstacle, after the beginning mud pit of course, were bales of hay. Not the little ones. Huge ones. Ones that require either crawling up onto them or running and taking a hurdling leap to reach the top. At the very last of these I passed two of our team mates. The one immediately in front of me took a spill off the hay and I nearly landed on top of him. We stopped long enough to make sure he was okay, and then off we went. I knew Necia and two of the others were somewhere ahead of me. Actually, I stayed close with Necia and Tiffany the whole time, but the first guy disappeared within seconds and we didn't see him until the very end.

After the bales of hay we encountered tubes that required you to crawl through. In addition to this were naturally more mud pits and hoses shooting frigid water. It is amazing how that water can suck the breath out of you!

Several tubes later came the retaining walls. There were about three across and each one was a different height. I approached the first one and made a sad attempt to climb it - meaning I stood there with my hands on it contemplating climbing it, but it was leaning towards me at a pretty decent angle - so I cheated and slid between the walls and ran to the next one. I know, I know. But that was the only thing I skirted. Honestly, if you really wanted to, you could run around all the obstacles in the way, but what's the fun in that? My method for climbing the remaining walls was the launch one leg up and over - thank you ballet for allowing me some degree of flexibility, and then pulling myself up. I simply don't have the upper body strength to do the dead weight lift.


Along the way it was fun and surprising to find Ryan or Bill on the sidelines taking our pictures. We had expected that they would only be able to stay at the finish line and take pictures there, but there were paths criss-crossing the course making for great short cuts. And seeing Ryan gave me extra motivation to keep pushing. Up to this point my lower body was muddy, but the upper half wasn't too bad. So these pictures make it look like nothing had happened - but that's a lie. Even without the mud it was still tough. Lots of hills. I hate hills.

After the walls and a couple extra bales of hay came a long dry stretch. I caught up to Necia and Tiffany at the tires - just like the good old football drills. Unfortunately Necia rolled her ankle in one of the tires, but managed to shake it off and keep going. This injury of hers was my only chance to pass her... but she passed me again 30 seconds later.

Rounding the corner from the tires was a jog through the marsh land by the lake. Not only is the mud almost impassibly thick - nearly sucking your shoes off each step - but it stunk like sulfur. Nasty!

Once out of the muck we made our way back to the giant hill. The last obstacle we passed was a low hanging net that you had to crawl under. No big deal. Along the way there were people launching water balloons at the runners, but luckily I was never targeted.


Necia and Tiffany waited for me at the top of the hill where we prepared to slide down a big blow up slide. The three of us took a running head start and slid down the slide - the last big adventure before the end.

At the bottom of the hill we met up with the first guy in our group that had disappeared within seconds of the race starting. He had already finished the race and had looped back to finish again with us. The end involved two series of big mud pits. The first was up to your waist and had low hanging flags across the pool so that you either had to dive under or at least duck a good way. It was impossible to get through without getting stuck, falling over, getting knocked over, or plopping down in. We were all laughing and shrieking as we waded our way through the mud.

Half way through there was a hill you had to climb up, then slide back in to the next pit. At long last the pool became more and more shallow until you could finally walk out and run to the finish line.

The four of us stood there for a moment, laughing and congratulating each other until we decided to loop back as the first guy had done to wait for the last two team mates to reach the bottom of the hill where we could all finish the race together.


The results? Well I think Necia and I came out cleanest - but that's not saying much.

We each attempted to take a shower in the frigid water, but we could only handle a few seconds before we jumped out. Thankfully we all brought a change of clothes. As for our shoes, they had a booth where you could donate your shoes to go to Africa. I had mixed feelings about this just because I really loved my shoes. They were wearing out and they did have a few holes, but they were perfect. But I figured it was a good cause. I had to turn my head away as I tossed my shoes in the pile. Sad day.

I didn't really consider when I would get a chance to buy new shoes or how long I would have to go shoeless. I didn't make it to the store that day. We went out of town Sunday - Tuesday night. I worked 12 hours on Wednesday. Thursday was insane. Friday I worked 12 hours. I finally made it to the store the following Saturday. It's so nice to have shoes again! It certainly makes me feel better about giving my shoes away to those in need.

The run was a total blast. If you ever get the chance to do a run like it - do it! I am not a runner by any means. This one was a 5k, so it wasn't too bad. They do offer a 10k in September, but the 5k was plenty for me! And it wasn't so much about the "race" as it was the adventure. In regular runs there is a lot of pressure. Everyone is trying to get through as fast as they can. This was all about having fun. We are definitely going to do it again next year - this time with Ryan and Bill as part of the team. Anyone want to join us?