Just before we moved out to Wyoming, Ryan put together this amazing video of Pierscen's surgery. I hope the link works. I can't get through it without crying!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37Ci01-UZAs
And if anyone happens to know how to imbed the actual video, will you let me know? Thanks!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
A Week of Healing and Chaos
Saturday morning arrived, and I wondered, for the 100th time since coming home the previous afternoon, what on earth made us think that moving one week post-op was a good idea? I was less worried about Pierscen as I was the monumental task of packing. I thought Ryan and I had done a decent job on the weekends that he had come home, but standing there alone surrounded my rooms of stuff, I felt in the most simplistic term: overwhelmed.
Enter my saving grace: My family. Joey and two of his friends came over early in the morning to start moving the boxes I had ready to go out to the trailer or the garage. With the three of them, things went pretty quick. They were eager to help, so I started looking around for "bigger" things I could have them carry out.
During this, my mom showed up with my sister and began packing away as well. Soon Joey announced that he couldn't, or shouldn't, pack anything else in the trailer until he had loaded up my bed so that they knew how much room they really had to work with. The plan had been to leave my bed and the crib up until Thursday when Ryan's family would be back from their trip and ready to help. My mom convinced me that in order to really make the progress that we needed, the bed should be packed. I protested at first because, well, where would I sleep? The answer? Mom's. They have a crib and about 4 beds downstairs that I could choose from with both James and Philip getting married and moving out. It was a no brainer. And just like that, my bed was out of the house and in the trailer.
Together we set the goal of having the house totally packed up by Tuesday evening, leaving 2 days to really clean. I am so grateful for my mom for stepping in and being my guide. If I thought trying to pack and move in 1 week was crazy, what was I thinking leaving myself only one day to clean the apt? My family was truly amazing. Especially my mom. She had so, so, SO much to do with school and Powerpoints and all of that, but she spent hours and hours every day during the next week helping me pack and clean. So did my sisters, Joey, and his friends. I would have been totally lost without them. When Ryan's family got home Wednesday night, Clair and Ellen stopped by to see the progress. They were stunned. Everything but the crib was packed and out of the house. My mom had spent the better part of the day cleaning carpets. Pretty much everything was ready to go. Thursday evening we had dinner at Ryan's and then the whole family came over to help pack out the last few items and make sure things were ready. That old saying, "Many hands make light work," is sure an understatement. :)
The week following surgery was chaotic with packing and cleaning, but it was also a miraculous week for Pierscen. I took day by day shots showing his progress. It truly was a wonder to behold. It was so fascinating to look at him and know that he was my same Pierscen, and yet almost not recognize him. And then he would laugh, or smile, or do something that is so very Pierscen, and there it was. By the end of the week, the new Pierscen and the old had merged into one in my mind - all except the missing hair - but that was growing back rapidly.
I am so grateful for his kind and loving personality, for his quick smile and his peaceful demeanor. He is amazing.
Here is the week's play by play:
Saturday, June 9th
Sunday, June 10th
Monday, June 11th
Tuesday, June 12th
Wednesday, June 13th
Thursday was also my last official day of work. I spent the morning working on demographics from home and then drove down to hand everything over to Jeanette. It was very bittersweet. I honestly loved working in the ER. I have never had a job where I was so close to my co-workers, and especially to my boss. There is not enough praise in the world for Jeanette in my opinion. She truly is one of my dearest friends. I was so lucky to work at UVRMC for 5+ years. And though I was really looking forward to being able to stay home and be the mom I want to be, I was really sad to leave too.
Jeanette and my friend Mike walked me out to my car and we said our goodbyes. It was such a strange feeling. Sadness, but excitement. A whole new chapter. How can you not feel a little giddy about that? We were finally moving on! Just one more day, and the page was about to turn...
At the closing of the day, I just looked at my beautiful boy and wondered, Who can deny the existence of God? And who can claim that miracles don't exist today? God lives. He loves us. He knows us and cares about us. That doesn't mean that things will be easy, but God is ever mindful of us. I am so grateful to know of my relationship to Him, to know that I am his daughter. That knowledge has given my strength to face many challenges I didn't think I could face. And through faith, fasting and prayer, we have made it through to the other side!
P.S. One great thing about spending that last week with at my parents was that it gave Dodger and Abby a lot of time to play and really get to know each other. Dodger loves Abby, and Abby reciprocates... for about 5 minutes most days and then she wants her own space. But spending the whole week together really helped them bond. They played pretty much non stop. And it gave my family a chance to see that Dodger is actually a really sweet cuddle bug. Whenever we would stop by, he would run around like a crazed dog looking to destroy any trash can he could find. But during the times I was out of the house this last week, Dodger really warmed up to the family and relaxed being in a new environment. He even jumped up on my mom's lap a number of times. So it was good bonding for everyone. :)
Enter my saving grace: My family. Joey and two of his friends came over early in the morning to start moving the boxes I had ready to go out to the trailer or the garage. With the three of them, things went pretty quick. They were eager to help, so I started looking around for "bigger" things I could have them carry out.
During this, my mom showed up with my sister and began packing away as well. Soon Joey announced that he couldn't, or shouldn't, pack anything else in the trailer until he had loaded up my bed so that they knew how much room they really had to work with. The plan had been to leave my bed and the crib up until Thursday when Ryan's family would be back from their trip and ready to help. My mom convinced me that in order to really make the progress that we needed, the bed should be packed. I protested at first because, well, where would I sleep? The answer? Mom's. They have a crib and about 4 beds downstairs that I could choose from with both James and Philip getting married and moving out. It was a no brainer. And just like that, my bed was out of the house and in the trailer.
Together we set the goal of having the house totally packed up by Tuesday evening, leaving 2 days to really clean. I am so grateful for my mom for stepping in and being my guide. If I thought trying to pack and move in 1 week was crazy, what was I thinking leaving myself only one day to clean the apt? My family was truly amazing. Especially my mom. She had so, so, SO much to do with school and Powerpoints and all of that, but she spent hours and hours every day during the next week helping me pack and clean. So did my sisters, Joey, and his friends. I would have been totally lost without them. When Ryan's family got home Wednesday night, Clair and Ellen stopped by to see the progress. They were stunned. Everything but the crib was packed and out of the house. My mom had spent the better part of the day cleaning carpets. Pretty much everything was ready to go. Thursday evening we had dinner at Ryan's and then the whole family came over to help pack out the last few items and make sure things were ready. That old saying, "Many hands make light work," is sure an understatement. :)
The week following surgery was chaotic with packing and cleaning, but it was also a miraculous week for Pierscen. I took day by day shots showing his progress. It truly was a wonder to behold. It was so fascinating to look at him and know that he was my same Pierscen, and yet almost not recognize him. And then he would laugh, or smile, or do something that is so very Pierscen, and there it was. By the end of the week, the new Pierscen and the old had merged into one in my mind - all except the missing hair - but that was growing back rapidly.
I am so grateful for his kind and loving personality, for his quick smile and his peaceful demeanor. He is amazing.
Here is the week's play by play:
Saturday, June 9th
He still looked a little like MegaMind with that perfectly round, swollen head. But don't the eyes look amazing?!
Sunday, June 10th
Monday, June 11th
And to think... one week previous his head was wrapped in an Aladdin turban and his eyes were swollen shut.
Tuesday, June 12th
(Sorry I always make the same noises. But it makes him smile!)
See that ridge about an inch or two behind the main incision ? It's right above the drain mark. It was that point forward that was removed. Crazy!!!
Wednesday, June 13th
Looking pretty amazing, huh?
Thursday, June 14th
Thursday was also my last official day of work. I spent the morning working on demographics from home and then drove down to hand everything over to Jeanette. It was very bittersweet. I honestly loved working in the ER. I have never had a job where I was so close to my co-workers, and especially to my boss. There is not enough praise in the world for Jeanette in my opinion. She truly is one of my dearest friends. I was so lucky to work at UVRMC for 5+ years. And though I was really looking forward to being able to stay home and be the mom I want to be, I was really sad to leave too.
(My amazing orange desk. I will miss it!)
Jeanette and my friend Mike walked me out to my car and we said our goodbyes. It was such a strange feeling. Sadness, but excitement. A whole new chapter. How can you not feel a little giddy about that? We were finally moving on! Just one more day, and the page was about to turn...
At the closing of the day, I just looked at my beautiful boy and wondered, Who can deny the existence of God? And who can claim that miracles don't exist today? God lives. He loves us. He knows us and cares about us. That doesn't mean that things will be easy, but God is ever mindful of us. I am so grateful to know of my relationship to Him, to know that I am his daughter. That knowledge has given my strength to face many challenges I didn't think I could face. And through faith, fasting and prayer, we have made it through to the other side!
P.S. One great thing about spending that last week with at my parents was that it gave Dodger and Abby a lot of time to play and really get to know each other. Dodger loves Abby, and Abby reciprocates... for about 5 minutes most days and then she wants her own space. But spending the whole week together really helped them bond. They played pretty much non stop. And it gave my family a chance to see that Dodger is actually a really sweet cuddle bug. Whenever we would stop by, he would run around like a crazed dog looking to destroy any trash can he could find. But during the times I was out of the house this last week, Dodger really warmed up to the family and relaxed being in a new environment. He even jumped up on my mom's lap a number of times. So it was good bonding for everyone. :)
Friday, July 20, 2012
Surgery Week: Day 5 - Going Home
I called the cab again Thursday night and made arrangements to be picked up at 6:30 again. This time there were no issues with the location and I made it to the hospital before 6:40.
As if it watching the changes Thursday wasn't enough, it was so amazing to walk in the room and see my beautiful baby boy, his head perfectly round, and his eyes OPEN! He looked so good!
I can only imagine how wonderful it must have been to him to spend several days in darkness and then finally be able to see. What a miracle! He is in that stage where his hands and fingers and the most amazing discovery ever, but I have a feeling their incredible abilities were even more stunning once he was able to see them again. :)
He was so cute grabbing on to anything he could and either studying it or shoving it in his mouth. They removed the last IV during the night so he finally had full range of motion.
Playing puppeteer with his foot. Love it!
Pierscen's sodium level did come up during the night but it still wasn't quite as high as they wanted it to be. The Plastic Surgeon Fellow, the guy that removed the turban, came in to let us know that we should be good to go, but that I would need to give P 1/32 tsp of salt in his bottle twice a day for 5 days. That's a pretty tiny amount. But that was a simple thing to ask if they would let us go that day. :)
I loved this Tech! She was so cute and so sweet. I was so glad she was there for discharge day!
The Dr told us all we needed was the okay from the Neurosurgeon to go home. Unfortunately he couldn't give us a time line for when he would come down to see Pierscen. I talked to Ellen about getting a ride home and she said that my brother-in-law Cameron would come pick me up. They live in South Jordan and it made a lot more sense for him to come pick me up since he was heading to Orem anyway than making Ellen drive up from Orem and then back again. So we told the nurse that I needed to let my family know when they could pick me up to see if that would get the doctor down any faster.
That seemed to work. The plastic surgeon doc called neurosurgery again and one of the other doctors that had come to check on P said we didn't need to wait for his actual neurosurgeon and that the discharge plan he had given me sounded good. If he made it down in time, great. If not, oh well.
So I called Cameron and let him know I was good to go. Then to expedite things, I went down to the pharmacy to fill his pain meds. While I was gone, his neurosurgeon made it down, did his 2 second check, and cleared him to go.
We left the hospital around 1 pm. Beautiful bald baby. :) He head was still pretty swollen, but look at those eyes! So much better!
It was so strange to be leaving the hospital. It felt like we had been there forever. And yet it felt like we just got there. I wish Ryan was there to go home with/to, but at least we were finally done!
After eating lunch at my in-law's, I drove Cameron's car back to my house so they were all taking one car down south for a family trip.
Walking in the door I had very mixed emotions. I was so grateful to be home, to be through with this ordeal, and yet, I felt bogged down by anxiety. I felt so alone walking through the door knowing that there was no husband waiting there, a half-packed disaster of a house, now the responsibility of taking care of a baby that I simply wasn't positive how to take care of. I felt nervous and overwhelmed and incredibly emotional. You know how often after spiritual experiences you tend to feel exhausted afterwards? I think that was a big part of it. I had been buoyed up for so long, this was the crash.
I did my best to set up Pierscen's crib like it was in the hospital and put him down for a nap. I was so thoroughly exhausted I decided I would crash for a while too. I went and climbed in bed, but I was still so anxious about the insurance issue, I couldn't sleep. I decided to call Blue Cross back and ask some more questions.
I asked the woman what would happen if they decided not to cover it. Would the money I paid even go towards the deductible or would it just "disappear?" She said it would not go towards the deductible, but then asked, "But why wouldn't they cover it?"
"Well I don't know. It's just that I didn't know that you guys were primary until we had been in the hospital for several days and so I didn't get it authorized and I just don't know what to do." My voice was quavering and before I could stop it, I was crying.
"Oh honey, you are just frightened, aren't you?" she asked. Her voice was so kind, so sincere. Nothing I expected from an insurance rep. She asked me if I had contacted the preadmission team, which I said I had but hadn't heard anything. She assured me that everything would be okay and proceeded to get some information from me and then put me on hold so she could talk directly with the preadmission team. After a minute or so, she told me she was going to transfer me to them so that they could get details on doctors and hospitals. Before she switched the call she said, "I know you have been through a lot. It's going to be okay. If you need anything, you call me back, okay?"
I was so touched by her kindness. She didn't have to be like that. She could have treated me like some idiot that really botched things up, but she didn't.
The lady in preadmissions was just as wonderful. She was so kind and understanding. We spoke for a few minutes and then told me she would call me right back as soon as she had contacted Primary's. It was only another 10 minutes or so before my phone rang. She told me she was able to get the information she needed and that she was going to go ahead and give the preauthorization. She told me that I would receive a letter in the mail stating that it had been authorized, but only for one day. She said not to worry though because that authorization would then allow the hospital to send all the doctors and nurses clinical notes and dictations showing the need for x amount of days and that once they had that, she would authorize the rest.
The crushing weight on my chest suddenly lifted. I am so grateful for these two wonderful women and their kindness towards me. It completely changed my view on insurance people. I guess after a while you judge everyone that works for insurance companies as the bad guys. I don't feel that way any more. They could have told me no. They could have pulled out the red tape and said "good luck with that," but they didn't. I have no doubt that things will still be sticky and that I will probably still owe a good chunk of change, but I am so thankful to our merciful Father in Heaven for helping me through this.
I hung up the phone and put my head back on the pillow. Exhausted, but at peace, I fell fast asleep.
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